Its amazing how things can change so fast....
We were on such a high at the end of 2009. I guess God has said its time for a lesson in trust, faith and relying on him COMPLETELY for daily strength.
I haven't blogged for a while because I haven't wanted to bring the party down. It is still very true that God has blessed us with an amazing 2009. We are so grateful for everything we were able to experience last year and we still have some wonderful things happening.
But already this year we have experienced heartache and sorrow.
Early in the year, around the first week in January, I found out I was pregnant! Just 5 weeks along I was feeling good and excited, and yet couldn't really believe yet that I was really with child. I was feeling slight symptoms - just a little dizzy and slightly nauseous in the afternoons - just enough to let me know something was definitely different. I couldn't wait until my ultrasound which was scheduled for January 22, when I would be 7 1/2 weeks along. The day finally came, but it did not bring the happy news we hoped for. Alas, no fetus could be found. The doctor confirmed I was pregnant but apparently the baby never developed like it was supposed to and there was no baby. It was pretty shocking to hear and understand. How can I be pregnant but there was no baby? Instead of walking away with the picture of my baby I wanted, we walked away with an appointment for a D&C to end my pregnancy.
Its amazing how much you can miss someone you have never met and who possibly never existed in the first place! I am grateful we were able to find out so early in the pregnancy, but still a month and a half later I find myself grieving. We are also glad and encouraged that we were able to get pregnant so quickly in the first place, knowing that so many cannot even get to that point, and we are hopeful that we'll have good news again (and an ultrasound picture of a little person inside) soon.
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